Hi everyone,
Jessica wrote to me today, asking about feminist gift ideas for a 16 year old that she used to sit for. Jessica says, “She’s sixteen now, and she has almost completed the patriarchal transformation from confident-independent-athletic-girl, to boy-crazy- appearance-obsessed-girl.”
She used to be into all kinds of athletic things, but now she’s wrapped up in her boyfriend. To top it off, her mom is pretty chill but her dad is a right-wing-nut. Jessica wants to give her young friend a gift that might help to foster independent, feminist thought.
I was pretty lame coming up with ideas, as I don’t have to buy for kids. I thought I’d throw it out to my readers – any suggestions?
I have one. A gift certificate to a local heath food store. You never know what you might find in one of those places.
How about something like handmade clothing or jewelry–the kind you can get in those stores that always smell like incense, that come with a little card explaining what fair trade is, and describing the conditions in which they were made.
http://packaginggirlhood.typepad.com/ has 2 recent posts on this very subject!
Gift to the person first and foremost.
Only as a second gift should she get a “feminist” present. Oh, and I would make that a print subscription to “Shameless Magazine” out of Toronto. I think they’re at http://www.shamelessmag.com
It’s a very feminist yet consider-every-”but…” site/magazine, the way this site is and the way Packaging Girlhood is.
Oooooooh, actually, another thing that might be good…an individual “for her, before, during, and after she’s dating that boyfriend…” gift as #1 and “Female Chauvinist Pigs” as #2.
It’s a great non-offensive book that won’t make fun of her makeup yet will help her think about, “Now, why am I putting this on…for me? Okay, yeah, today I am…great!” or even, “Well, no, not for me today…but at least I know that and am not deceiving myself about it” decisions.
I find the book very considerate even while it’s informative.
I was going to suggest a book as well, and checking out helpful websites and just fostering an enviornment where issues concerning her are brought up and discussed. I think knowledge can be the greatest gift of all.
This was M’s comment, but she misplaced it on a different thread:
Ah, great ideas so far, folks! thanks for helping a feminist out! and thanks for the links Katie! and welcome Vi!
Thanks! You all had some great ideas and led me to some more great blogs. The readers at Shakespeare’s Sister had some ideas too. I think a couple books (A Handmaid’s Tale and My Secret) plus the Shameless Magazine are front runners. I’m looking into a balance board too. Thanks again.
Ooooooh, Our Bodies sounds GREAT.
That is feminist AND has to do with her as an active person, not a member of a social category. (It relates to her taking on interests in attracting the opposite sex, even if not yet doing anything WITH her body with members of the opposite sex…that’s something she’s doING, so it’s more individual of a reason to give her THAT feminist book than just, “She’s a woman; let’s give her a feminist book.)
I LIKE IT. Great suggestion.
@jessica: if you’re still checking comments:
a subscription to shameless magazine really is a great idea because she’ll have access (throughout the year) to news and info from a wide variety of areas, from a girl-friendly and feminist-minded point of view. then she can see what interests her in particular, look into it, think about it. for the same reason, i think some feminist/grrrl music would be great, particularly le tigre. or the gossip. or all girl summer fun band… there’s lots of options for excellent, super-fun, danceable, interesting music that’s also girl/queer friendly (lyrics-wise and politically, in terms of the kind of things the bands support, express, work on)!
and there’s no way any girl won’t start thinking about stuff when reading and listening to such things. 
i’d also recommend getting her a feminist movie that has the same potential (there are quite a few of those too – here is a list), just because i know that i got started with feminism at around 16, after watching “orlando” – which is an adaptation of virginia woolf’s novel – and getting the biggest “a-ha” moment about gender stuff… and after that i had to read the book and i continued with more virginia woolf… and the rest is history! 
oh, and perhaps “feminism is for everybody” by bell hooks. that book rocks in so many ways.
Yep, I’m still checking comments. =) I love All Girl Summer Fun Band. I went to their site and now I’m thinking we both need a copy of their CD. =)
Jessica
does she like the TV show ALIAS? I am an unabashed ALIAS fan – Jennifer Garner as Sydney Bristow is just so kick-ass, there isn’t anything she can’t do. I personally think it’s a very feminist show – despite the number of skimpy outfits JG wore throughout the show, it still shows that women can be smart and sexy and beautiful and strong and independent and vulnerable at various times. If she doesn’t have them already, you could get her Season 1, and go from there.
I love Alias too! I didn’t know when it was on, but I got hooked on the DVDs this summer and watched all five seasons. I’ve got my friend hooked on Buffy already, maybe Alias will be next. =)
I would suggest Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead… The book has a character called Dominique who is fiercely independent… can act as a good role model
If you’re thinking about the TV route, maybe the first season of Veronica Mars? The show has gotten weaker with later seasons, but in Season One, Veronica is a truly awesome character — her main skill is that she’s brilliant. She’s also someone who got fed up with the high school clique BS and ended up completely outside of it, and the show deals with her frustrations with that (while at the same time showing us that she’s a much cooler person since dropping off of the pep squad). The first season is seriously smart and very well written.
Great suggestions everyone – maybe Jessica will divulge what she actually did purchase!
C’mon Jessica, what did you get?
Of course I’ll tell. =)
I bought a balance board and the book from postsecret.com “My Secret.” I also bought an All Girl Summer Fun Band album from iTunes and burned her a copy. I gave her two CD mixes too of Imogen Heap and Tori Amos.
They all went over pretty well. She saw the balance board and asked eagerly “will it help with snowboarding?” (I had forgotten that she recently developed an interest in that.) And she and her girlfriend devoured every page of My Secret that same night.
And thanks to all the suggestions I got here, at Shakespeare’s Sister, and at Feministe, I have an awesome list of feminist books, magazines, TV shows, movies, music, and other stuff that will not only come in handy for future reference but also brought to my attention some things I want to check out just for me. =)
Thanks again for the help.
Hey Jessica
Thanks for spilling! Great gifts – I too am hooked on PostSecret, it’s so great to know that you’re not alone. And of course, Imogen Heap and Tori Amos are great female musicians, really original an unique and inspiring! Great job!