August 21, 2007 by thinking girl
apparently, I don’t deal well with change. If anyone has any advice on how to calm my frayed nerves, deal with a million things to do and virtually no time to do them, and how to prevent a 2 tonne elephant from sitting on my chest each morning when I wake up, speak now! nothing I’m doing is helping, including getting 8 inches of my hair chopped off. the remedy for stress of change is not more change. note to self.
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What I do when I have a million things to do and no time to do them is… decide not to do them, and instead relax and play video games or something. It might not be that good a strategy in the long run, but as Keynes said, “In the long run, we are all dead.” Once you get yourself under control, everything else follows - or not, if you’d rather it didn’t.
Get a massage. Spoil yourself for a day and then get back to it. It may be super girly, but it helps me out.
This is what I tell myself when I am in that place (and I was just there):
Take time to rest.
Make time to have fun, even if it’s just five minutes.
Eat healthy meals.
Try to keep a regular schedule with bedtimes.
In short:
Take care of your health: mental, physical and emotional.
No matter what happens, school will be there. Work will be there. Take a break and come back when you’ve rested.
It will be okay.
And I second the massage, but rest before you go, to avoid worrying during the whole hour/half hour. Did that once, and I hardly knew I’d had a massage.
Take care of you. Do what’s best for you, each moment.
Remember we’re rooting for you.
Take these when you need them. *hugs*
Get them from real people in your life you care about.
You will be okay.
Jo
Clearly, cutting all your hair off is THE way to deal with stress and change! I want to see the new do! Only a week to go, and then you will just be doing, rather than stressing.
thanks everyone. to add to it all, I jsut spent a good part of my day dealing with my car repairs for the second time in a week, a third to come, and I pulled something in my back, negating the lovely 1 1/2 hr massage I had yesterday (I’m way ahead of you, ladies!). I think it might have been the early=morning yoga.
so for now, I’m in bed at 8, on Robaxacet, and hoping I can stay awake long enough to play a couple rounds of MahJongg before tucking into my paper.
nightgigjo - thanks! you’re right, things will be fine. I jsut have to get there and make sure I get waht I need in the meantime.
M - the haircut was a mistake. I regret it very much.
Ah the elephant. I get that too. I agree with the other comments, once you’re happy that you can stop and not do anything for a while — or think about it –, you’re good to go. Also, it helps to see that it’s not so much that there’s these huge things to do, but rather a series of little ones. As someone once told me, if you’re gonna renovate a house, don’t think of it as renovating a whole house. Just do each little tasks you need to do.
And remember, the difference between a bad haircut and a good one is two weeks.
I hate impulse cutting my hair because I love my long hair and when I cut it short, it drives me nuts. Sorry about the crappy week you’re having
Thanks Marc Andre. Yes, a series of little things. Yes.
this one’s gonna take more like 6 months to get back to where it once was. I mean, it;s not horrible by any stretch of the imagination. It’s just not the way I like to wear it. i always think that a change will do me good, be more interesting, etc. But really, I just like my hair the way I like my hair. I don’t really give a shit about trends, and yet I always end up falling for some line about how my hair is getting out of date. Dammit, why can’t they just leave me to my long wild rock and roll hair?
Gina - thank you! actually, it jsut helps to have some folks to commiserate with!
I found that letting go of traditional displays of femininity, like long hair, to be quite empowering.
As for the rest just deal with things one at a time and remember it’s ok to be a human being and not be perfect.
I like making lists and ticking things off as they’re done. Sometimes just seeing everything in writing can make things seem more manageable.
I’m going to have to second the multiple suggestions of relaxing and pampering yourself. Quality of life is important, much more important that being Super Student or even getting things packed well - I’ve assisted many 11th-hour packings, and I can tell you that things move just as well when you throw them in garbage bags.
Worst weekend of this past semester: an old flame came to town, demanding attention and upsetting the dynamic of my relationship; my laptop was stolen, and with it my ENTIRE article-length draft for one class - just a few days before I was supposed to present my research; finally, one of my neighbors shot of my other neighbors four doors down the hall from me. I felt nauseous and nervous all the time, and couldn’t conceive of pulling another 20-pager out of my hat.
So, I drank a lot. : D And ate good food, and slept very poorly (due to the shooting) but didn’t force myself to pull overnighters, and had long chatty sessions with the boyfriend and the flame and a buffer friend between them. And rewrote enough of my thinking to present my research well on a borrowed laptop. And lived, and realized that if I could do THAT then I needn’t bite my nails so much over other deadlines.
Good luck and take care! P.S. Recently cut my hair too… I now do it every three years to donate to Locks for Love, but I used to cut it or dye it *because* of major life changes. Rock on.
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” - Douglas Adams
thanks folks.
I truly hate my hair. I’m going to wear it up until it grows again. probably for a year. what was I thinking? stupid! stupid!
tanglethis - dear god! well, I’ve got nothing on you dude. glad you pulled through! The thing is, it really does make you stronger in the end. almost always.
I like to get my hair colored when I feel stressed out too. Usually I go lighter and then go as close to my natural color again.
Get some colorful bobby pins and pin it up ’til it gets long enough to where you like it. That’s always fun to do.
hi Gina - actually, its still long enough (just) to put up in a bun-like thing ont he top of my head. that’s how I’ve been wearing it, everyday. I had it coloured, just slightly darker than my natural. I don’t do highlights, just an all over chocolate brown. it’s way easier and cheaper to maintain. I gave up highlights when I went back to school. now I spend $80 every three months instead of $120 every six weeks. much cheaper!
I guess what I don’t like about it is just the length. I can’t wear it curly b/c the curls are cut off mid S. My hair is curlier the longer it is. so I’ll be stuck straightening it until it grows a few more inches. Also, the ends are a bit flippy, and I absolutely HATE flippy hair. other than that, I find it boring. At least long hair is interesting b/c it’s long. This is like a half-assed length. boring.
oh well. *sigh* I hope it will grow again. I’m never cutting it again.
thanks for listening to me whine about it.
deadlines might kill ya, they might, and they might not, but I’mm betting that they’ll try.
good luck !
ah, yeah, I’ve heard that curly hair is finicky when it comes to being cut. I lucked out and got the pin straight hair. I just color my own hair, I’m too cheap to get it done professionally.
I’m pin-straight too, and I’m usually thankful, but on the other hand semicurls give you interesting volume and texture to work with.
When my hair is short and I need to do something interesting or keep it out of my face, I:
make a zigzag part, pick up a little section at the point of each zag, and either braid it or put a little rubber band around it.
take 5-6 little butterfly clips (not butterfly design, but the clawed kind you pinch open) and clip back strands from my forehead in a U, like a headband, except you have more choice in where you clip. I’ve done that with curly hair, since it’s okay if things are messy and fluffy behind the clips.
lightly mousse everything, barrette back unruly strands if necessary, and pretend it’s intentionally edgy.
Short hairstyles are a little time-consuming, yes, but I figure it’s a tradeoff for the time spent washing, conditioning, and brushing longer hair.
You know, I honestly always found shorter hair to be more of a hassle than long hair. I can usually just blow dry my hair and then pin it back quick before going to work. Or else in a ponytail.