Another argument is that women are empowered and are controlling their sexuality when they decide to sell their services. But sexuality is a mutual thing not something women do for men, but something men and women do for one another that is mutually pleasurable. That prostitution is primarily women’s work illustrates subjugation not empowerment. Within a personal relationship (hopefully) sex is negotiated as an act of mutual pleasure, even in a “one-night-stand”. While an individual woman might find selling her services to be an act of empowerment, women as a group are negatively impacted when prostitution is sanctioned. It frames sex as a job that women do for men, like house-keeping.

For the female partner in a relationship refusing sex to the male partner becomes denial of services even in an egalitarian relationship. The sub-conscious message sent out to society is that sex is a service that doesn’t require “being in the mood” on the woman’s part. It is true that within a partnership sometimes one of the partners is not “in the mood” but does it anyway. In that case it is still an act of intimacy and trust done not as a service but as an act of love for the other person. An angry partner might still cook dinner or wash the car, but they won’t have sex.

If sex is a service that can be bought, then rape without injury is simply theft. Date rape is no big deal because the woman isn’t losing anything, an idea that is already prevalent in the minds of many men. Invading a woman’s body is no different than invading her wallet. If you pay for a woman’s dinner, she owes you sex. If she won’t hand it over, taking it is justified.

Women of color, aboriginal women, are over-represented in prostitution particularly in the lower-end. You will be hard-put to find a single organization representing them that is in favor of decriminalization.

Sure there are “happy hookers” or women who claim it as a valid professional choice, but overall this is a job that marginalized women are forced into. In Belize, the government has framed prostitution as a good job for poor women that is the equivalent of migrant farm work for men.

While some men and women may experience sex as a non-intimate act that simply feels good, many see it as an act of intense intimacy, some experience it as both. But almost without exception, on both sides, rape is a devastating personal invasion that haunts the victim.

Sex in exchange for money is not just a job. A pro-decriminalization sex worker posted that workers would have more power to refuse particular services if it were decriminalized. One of the “acts” she mentioned that sex workers didn’t have to do in the past was kissing. It illustrated to me that though they had deadened the reaction to having their bodies invaded it was still there. They wanted to withhold just one small thing that indicated they were not objects, they were feeling human-beings.

The majority of prostitutes have a background that includes one of the following: childhood sexual abuse, other forms of child abuse, drug abuse, or poverty. Legalization legitimizes the use of these people to service the “needs” of men with money and power.

Yes, some women don’t see it that way, just see it as a good way to make money and aren’t at all bothered by it. But are they the majority? Do their individual rights supercede the rights of marginalized women? Does it supercede the rights of women in general to not have their sexuality designated as nothing more than a service that can be sold?

As far as going for the testicles goes, I wouldn’t wait until post ejaculation before striking them. A friend of my mothers who is a Krav Maga instructor has taught many girls about a move where you wait until an attacker exposes his testicles before you quickly grab, twist and pull them as hard as you can. She has stated that it will make any man freeze in agony before he passes out in under 10 seconds if you squeeze hard enough, but you must lock your fingers around the top of at least one testicle before squeezing them. She tries to educate as many women as possible about this technique.

Well worth remembering Thinking Girl!

Niccy