So I'm going to a baby shower later today for a friend whose baby is due next month. I hate these things. I am not particularly maternal, and I don't really want to have children myself. The thought of being pregnant disgusts me. When I see pregnant, unclothed bellies it makes me a bit sick in my stomach. I tend to think of pregnancy as a period of gestating a parasite. Yuck.I went shopping for a baby gift last night, and it was really hard to find non-gendered baby stuff. Here in Halifax, our hospital will not divulge the sex of the fetus to pregnant women, so it makes it a bit harder to shop. It shouldn't but it does: the majority of baby stuff out there is either blue or pink. Me, I wouldn't really care, I'd use blue for a girl or pink for a boy without hesitation, but most people aren't like me.
Anyway, going to these showers always makes me a bit nervous. There are always so many women there who either have children or want to have children, and I just don't fit in. There are disgusting stories about horrific birthing experiences, infected cracked nipples, violent kicking, extreme morning sickness, varicose veins and hideous stretch marks, baby vomit and poo, and talk of lack of sleep, shortage of babysitters, lowered sex drive, increased expenses, and cries of "but it's all so worth it, I wouldn't change a thing!" from the moms who are secretly waiting for someone else to be as miserable as she is. I just don't really know what to say at these functions, except, "Oh, well, that sounds just great," and "Congratulations and good luck!" I mostly just try my best to keep quiet and bite my tongue about how I never want my own baby shower, because I never want to gestate a parasite.
One of the hardest things about it is the condescension from the moms. They all want to know if you have children, and when you say you don't, then they incline their heads at you and say things like, "Don't worry, your time will come," and "Just wait, you're going to love it." If you choose to correct their assumption that because you have a uterus it must mean you will one day play host to a fetus, then the answers change slightly in tone of voice. Then they tend to say things like "Well, you simply MUST have children, it's so enriching," and "Well, I believe it's our purpose on this earth to provide loving homes to the next generation." If you then further expound your position into reasons of how you don't really care for children all that much, you receive looks that say WHAT THE HELL KIND OF WOMAN ARE YOU? and the mother of all responses: "You'll feel differently about your own children."
To which I say, "Well, I'd hate to have them and then find out that I really didn't feel differently about them at all."
Wish me luck!