well, folks, I’m taking the day off from FF, because it’s time to celebrate me. It’s my 30th birthday today.
Everyone keeps telling me how I’m going to love my 30s. I think it’s all what you make it. My 20s were about learning that, learning what was important to me and learning to take responsibility for my life – my mistakes and my accomplishments, yes, but mostly my FUTURE. There are a lot of forces at work in the world and society around me that I have no power over, but there is one force in the world that I DO have power over – myself. I have learned that nobody else is going to direct my future and my life for me, and why would I want them to?
I have learned that it’s never too late to start over. Sucking it up and going back to school has been such a humbling experience. It has taught my a lot of humility. What did I know? What do I know now? Very little, in the grand scheme of things. I have changed and grown so much over the past 2 years since I have returned to academic life, and my ideas and consciousness is evolving all the time. I am looking forward to deepening my connection with myself more and more.
I have taken time away from other people this year. This year has been mostly about going solo, keeping my nose to the grindstone, working hard. This has been such a change for me, because my friends have always been so important to me. But I have learned this way that the best relationship I can have is with myself. I have been watering my own garden this year, and as a result my blooms are brighter than ever.
Despite the changing and growing, I have always a still small centre that is the essence of me, and that essence never changes. It’s good to know I can rely on that centre to drive me.
So here’s to my topsy-turvy 20s: you kicked me in the ass, and I kicked back. I fell in wild, passionate love, and back out again. I made great friends, and even kept some. I had some wonderful experiences professionally, and abandoned a successful career to pursue my heart’s path. I learned how to say “I’m sorry, I was wrong.” I lost a few times, but I gained myself.
So far, 30 is looking pretty good.